Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Kelly's Pick - March/April
Kelly picks"The School of Essential Ingredients" by Erica Bauermeister. Shall we meet sometime after the middle of April? I'm traveling until around the 20th...I can read the book by then...but probably won't be able to comment much before then with only sporadic internet connections.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Keri's thoughts on My Sister's Keeper
Reread the prologue to My Sister's Keeper. Who is the speaker? Is it the same person you thought it was the first time you read it?
I was very surprised by the ending of the novel which shows us that the prologue speaker was actually Kate and not Anna. It would be interesting to reread the novel now that I know the result to see how much reads differently.
What is the metaphorical relevance of Brian's profession as a fire chief?
It gives him a sense of control that he lacks in his personal life. But it is also such an uncontrollable field that it seems odd that it might give him the peace that it seems to. I suppose that at least there he knows exactly what to do in a given situation whereas at home it is never quite so clear.
Why is Jesse's behavior so aberrant, while until now, Anna has been so compliant?
They both had their own ways of dealing with the cards life had dealt them. Anna chose to be compliant – to be the “good little daughter”. This gave her the attention she needed, but in a more positive way. Jesse, on the other hand, needed just as much attention and perhaps more…but he chose to behave badly. Unfortunately children learn that negative attention is still attention and in his case it was almost too late for him to change. I think that his choice to set fires was a way to reach out to his father, and though it was not a good decision, it ultimately did bring them back together with some forgiveness on both sides.
On page 98, Kate is being admitted to the hospital in very serious condition. She mouths to Jesse, "tell Anna," but is unable to finish. What do you think she was trying to say?
I’m really not certain what Kate wanted Jesse to tell Anna. Perhaps she wanted her sister to keep going on with the case, or perhaps she was wanting her to stop and just give the kidney. I think she was conflicted and probably was for her entire life. Life was never easy for Kate and I’m sure it must have felt easier to just give up and let the disease kill her.
On page 122, Julia says, "Even if the law says that no one is responsible for anyone else, helping someone who needs it is the right thing to do." Who understood better how to "help" Kate, Sara or Anna?
I think that both of them were trying their best in a challenging situation that has no guidelines. But my personal feeling is that Anna made the right choice. She was listening to her sister and trying to honor her wishes regardless of how she personally felt about it.
Did Anna do the right thing, honoring Kate's wishes?
I think that she did make the right choice. Though it was unfair of Kate to ask to do so behind her parent’s back, and to ask that her sister who loved her and was only 13 to make such a terrible choice. But Kate had every right to make the choice that she did, and Anna was right to respect her wishes.
Do you feel it was unfair of Kate to ask Anna to refuse to donate a kidney, even though this seemed to be the only way for her to avoid the lifesaving transplant?
I think it was unfair of her to ask, but I understand why she did so. She should have just told her parents what she wanted, but I can understand why she didn’t think that would work. I really don’t think that Sara would have listened to what Kate had to say in this situation.
On page 142, Brian says that when rescuing someone from a fire, that "the safety of the rescuer is of a higher priority than the safety of the victim. Always." How does this apply to his role in his own family?
I think that this refers to why he took Anna to stay at the firehouse with him. She needed an escape from the house and her mother during the trial. Even though he wasn’t sure how he felt about the trial and the issues that came with it, he knew that he needed to protect his daughter and Sara was too focused on Kate to see why Anna needed help.
On page 144, Brian says, "Like anything that's been confined, fire has a natural instinct to escape." How does this truth apply to Kate? to Brian himself?
I think that Kate just wanted to escape the life she was forced to lead. She was tired of being sick, tired of having surgeries and procedures, tired of not being “normal” and she just wanted it to go away. And at the point she was at physically, not having the transplant was the easiest way out. But I think she was afraid to tell her parents because she knew how much they had done for her over the years. For Brian, I think this quote has to do with his desire to take Anna to the firehouse. To escape from the tension in his own home. He & Sara did not always agree on how to care for Kate, or their other children, but in most cases he always deferred to Sara. But this time he had to stand up to her, and that involved escaping from her presence for a time.
On page 149, Brian is talking to Julia about astronomy and says, "Dark matter has a gravitational effect on other objects. You can't see it, you can't feel it, but you can watch something being pulled in its direction." How is this symbolic of Kate's illness?
Kate’s illness affected the entire family – from the moment she was diagnosed it changed how they interacted, how they cared for each other, how they made decisions. She became the focus and center of everything…and that wasn’t the right choice. It took their focus off of Jesse who almost became unredeemable. It took their focus off treating Anna as their child instead of as a cure for Kate. It took their focus off their marriage and how they felt about each other. And it took their focus off of Kate and how she might feel or what she might want out of life.
How does Anna's decision to pursue medical emancipation parallel Campbell's decision to end his relationship with Julia after his accident?
I think that they both felt they were making the right choice…perhaps the only choice. But reflecting on it now I think that it definitely wasn’t their only choice. Anna could have gone to her parents and told them Kate did not want the surgery. It would not have been easy, but perhaps it would have forced them all to come together to talk, and to actually listen to each other. There would have been tension and there would have been arguments, but maybe they might have been able to come to a decision that they all could tolerate, if not agree completely on. In Campbell’s case, he should have told Julia what had happened to him. They could have worked through it all together and it wasn’t fair of him to hurt her so badly to supposedly make things easier. It obviously did not make things easier for either of them.
Do you agree with Brian's decision not to turn Jesse in to the authorities for setting the fires?
I do. Though it may not be the correct moral, legal or ethical choice I think that it makes sense why Brian didn’t turn him in. I think that he realized that Jesse was acting out in this way to gain attention. And it made Brian realize how far his son was willing to go and what that meant about how he and Sara had been parenting Jesse. I think he saw that Jesse had suffered enough and with his forgiveness would not set any more fires in the future.
Do you feel that it's ethical to conceive a child that meets specific genetic requirements?
I really do not believe so. I can try to understand why Sara and Brian decided to do so…but it becomes this slippery slope of how much is too much. How far do you take this? Obviously though they initially conceived Anna simply to get cord blood, it became normal to take whatever she had that would help Kate. It was never enough and would never be enough. Even though we now know that Anna wanted to help her sister in any way that she could, was it really fair to keep demanding it?
I think that through out the book, I felt the most for Jesse. Though he chose to react poorly, I think that life was very difficult for him. His life was never the same after his sister Kate was diagnosed with leukemia. His parents began to ignore him and believe that the things that mattered to him did not matter in the life or death scheme of Kate’s life. Sara had very little sympathy for him and though she occasionally questioned herself about how she treated him, ultimately she did give up on him. He became much less important to her than Kate, and even Anna. Because Anna was able to provide the things that Kate needed medically, she gave her more attention that she did Jesse. But she even neglected Anna’s needs more than once. Most of the quotes that I underlined throughout the book were of the ways that Sara treated Jesse and Anna. Though I understand her concern for Kate, I think it blinded her to the rest of her life and that makes me sad.
I was very surprised by the ending of the novel which shows us that the prologue speaker was actually Kate and not Anna. It would be interesting to reread the novel now that I know the result to see how much reads differently.
What is the metaphorical relevance of Brian's profession as a fire chief?
It gives him a sense of control that he lacks in his personal life. But it is also such an uncontrollable field that it seems odd that it might give him the peace that it seems to. I suppose that at least there he knows exactly what to do in a given situation whereas at home it is never quite so clear.
Why is Jesse's behavior so aberrant, while until now, Anna has been so compliant?
They both had their own ways of dealing with the cards life had dealt them. Anna chose to be compliant – to be the “good little daughter”. This gave her the attention she needed, but in a more positive way. Jesse, on the other hand, needed just as much attention and perhaps more…but he chose to behave badly. Unfortunately children learn that negative attention is still attention and in his case it was almost too late for him to change. I think that his choice to set fires was a way to reach out to his father, and though it was not a good decision, it ultimately did bring them back together with some forgiveness on both sides.
On page 98, Kate is being admitted to the hospital in very serious condition. She mouths to Jesse, "tell Anna," but is unable to finish. What do you think she was trying to say?
I’m really not certain what Kate wanted Jesse to tell Anna. Perhaps she wanted her sister to keep going on with the case, or perhaps she was wanting her to stop and just give the kidney. I think she was conflicted and probably was for her entire life. Life was never easy for Kate and I’m sure it must have felt easier to just give up and let the disease kill her.
On page 122, Julia says, "Even if the law says that no one is responsible for anyone else, helping someone who needs it is the right thing to do." Who understood better how to "help" Kate, Sara or Anna?
I think that both of them were trying their best in a challenging situation that has no guidelines. But my personal feeling is that Anna made the right choice. She was listening to her sister and trying to honor her wishes regardless of how she personally felt about it.
Did Anna do the right thing, honoring Kate's wishes?
I think that she did make the right choice. Though it was unfair of Kate to ask to do so behind her parent’s back, and to ask that her sister who loved her and was only 13 to make such a terrible choice. But Kate had every right to make the choice that she did, and Anna was right to respect her wishes.
Do you feel it was unfair of Kate to ask Anna to refuse to donate a kidney, even though this seemed to be the only way for her to avoid the lifesaving transplant?
I think it was unfair of her to ask, but I understand why she did so. She should have just told her parents what she wanted, but I can understand why she didn’t think that would work. I really don’t think that Sara would have listened to what Kate had to say in this situation.
On page 142, Brian says that when rescuing someone from a fire, that "the safety of the rescuer is of a higher priority than the safety of the victim. Always." How does this apply to his role in his own family?
I think that this refers to why he took Anna to stay at the firehouse with him. She needed an escape from the house and her mother during the trial. Even though he wasn’t sure how he felt about the trial and the issues that came with it, he knew that he needed to protect his daughter and Sara was too focused on Kate to see why Anna needed help.
On page 144, Brian says, "Like anything that's been confined, fire has a natural instinct to escape." How does this truth apply to Kate? to Brian himself?
I think that Kate just wanted to escape the life she was forced to lead. She was tired of being sick, tired of having surgeries and procedures, tired of not being “normal” and she just wanted it to go away. And at the point she was at physically, not having the transplant was the easiest way out. But I think she was afraid to tell her parents because she knew how much they had done for her over the years. For Brian, I think this quote has to do with his desire to take Anna to the firehouse. To escape from the tension in his own home. He & Sara did not always agree on how to care for Kate, or their other children, but in most cases he always deferred to Sara. But this time he had to stand up to her, and that involved escaping from her presence for a time.
On page 149, Brian is talking to Julia about astronomy and says, "Dark matter has a gravitational effect on other objects. You can't see it, you can't feel it, but you can watch something being pulled in its direction." How is this symbolic of Kate's illness?
Kate’s illness affected the entire family – from the moment she was diagnosed it changed how they interacted, how they cared for each other, how they made decisions. She became the focus and center of everything…and that wasn’t the right choice. It took their focus off of Jesse who almost became unredeemable. It took their focus off treating Anna as their child instead of as a cure for Kate. It took their focus off their marriage and how they felt about each other. And it took their focus off of Kate and how she might feel or what she might want out of life.
How does Anna's decision to pursue medical emancipation parallel Campbell's decision to end his relationship with Julia after his accident?
I think that they both felt they were making the right choice…perhaps the only choice. But reflecting on it now I think that it definitely wasn’t their only choice. Anna could have gone to her parents and told them Kate did not want the surgery. It would not have been easy, but perhaps it would have forced them all to come together to talk, and to actually listen to each other. There would have been tension and there would have been arguments, but maybe they might have been able to come to a decision that they all could tolerate, if not agree completely on. In Campbell’s case, he should have told Julia what had happened to him. They could have worked through it all together and it wasn’t fair of him to hurt her so badly to supposedly make things easier. It obviously did not make things easier for either of them.
Do you agree with Brian's decision not to turn Jesse in to the authorities for setting the fires?
I do. Though it may not be the correct moral, legal or ethical choice I think that it makes sense why Brian didn’t turn him in. I think that he realized that Jesse was acting out in this way to gain attention. And it made Brian realize how far his son was willing to go and what that meant about how he and Sara had been parenting Jesse. I think he saw that Jesse had suffered enough and with his forgiveness would not set any more fires in the future.
Do you feel that it's ethical to conceive a child that meets specific genetic requirements?
I really do not believe so. I can try to understand why Sara and Brian decided to do so…but it becomes this slippery slope of how much is too much. How far do you take this? Obviously though they initially conceived Anna simply to get cord blood, it became normal to take whatever she had that would help Kate. It was never enough and would never be enough. Even though we now know that Anna wanted to help her sister in any way that she could, was it really fair to keep demanding it?
I think that through out the book, I felt the most for Jesse. Though he chose to react poorly, I think that life was very difficult for him. His life was never the same after his sister Kate was diagnosed with leukemia. His parents began to ignore him and believe that the things that mattered to him did not matter in the life or death scheme of Kate’s life. Sara had very little sympathy for him and though she occasionally questioned herself about how she treated him, ultimately she did give up on him. He became much less important to her than Kate, and even Anna. Because Anna was able to provide the things that Kate needed medically, she gave her more attention that she did Jesse. But she even neglected Anna’s needs more than once. Most of the quotes that I underlined throughout the book were of the ways that Sara treated Jesse and Anna. Though I understand her concern for Kate, I think it blinded her to the rest of her life and that makes me sad.
- (Kate speaking) “He gets into a lot of bad stuff he shouldn’t…It’s the way he gets noticed, you know? I mean, imagine what it would be like if you were a squirrel living in the elephant cage at the zoo. Does anyone ever go there and say, Hey, check out that squirrel? No, because there’s something so much bigger you notice first.”
- (Sara speaking) “Your sister…is incredibly sick. I’m sorry if that interferes with your dentist’s appointment or your plan to go buy a pair of cleats. But those don’t rate quite as high in the grand scheme of things right now. I’d think that since you’re ten, you might be able to grow up enough to realize that the whole world doesn’t always revolve around you.” (Jesse speaking) “Why don’t you grow up? Why don’t you figure out that the world doesn’t revolve around her?” (Sara thinks) “For the first time in my life I begin to understand how a parent might hit a child – it’s because you can look into their eyes and see a reflection of yourself that you wish you hadn’t.”
- (Anna speaks) “Why did I have to leave the party?” (Sara thinks) “Because your sister is more important than cake and ice cream; because I cannot do this for her; because I said so” (Sara speaks) “’Stop acting like a five-year-old,’ I accuse, and then I remember that’s exactly what she is.”
- (Sara thinks) “I wonder when, exactly, I gave up on him. I wonder why, when Jesse’s history is not by any stretch as disappointing as his sister’s…I glance down and notice a bruise the size of a half-dollar, right in the crook of his arm. There’s a matching one on the other side. It is telling, I suppose, that my mind immediately races to heroin, instead of leukemia, as it would with his sisters.” (Jesse speaks) “Yeah, Ma. I shoot up every three days. Except I’m not doing smack, I’m getting blood taken out of me on the third floor here…Didn’t you realize who else was keeping Kate in platelets?”
- “Parents control everything, unless you’re like Jesse and you do enough to upset them that they’d rather ignore you than pretend you actually exist.”
- “If Kate was feeling guilty about being a burden, I was feeling twice as guilty for knowing she felt that way. For knowing I felt that way…that in addition to the piece of me that’s always wanted Kate to live, there’s another, horrible piece of me that sometimes wishes I were free…all these terrible feelings, some of which are too awful to speak out loud. That I want Kate alive, but also want to be myself, not part of her. That I want the chance to grow up, even if Kate can’t. That Kate’s death would be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me…and also the best. That sometimes, when I think about all this, I hate myself and just want to crawl back to where I was, to the person they want me to be…What if Kate wanted to die, so that I could live? What if after all these years of saving Kate, she was only trying to do the same for me?”
- “There’s two reasons not to tell the truth – because lying will get you what you want, and because lying will keep someone from getting hurt.”
- “If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one? Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone?”
- “In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parent who loses a child.”
- “…the people you love can surprise you every day. That maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it"
- “You don’t love someone because they’re perfect…You love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.”
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