- What did A Thousand Splendid Suns teach you about the history of Afghanistan? Did anything surprise you?
- Mariam’s mother says: "Women like us. We endure. It’s all we have." In what ways is this true? How do Mariam and Laila endure? How is their endurance different from the ways their mothers faced their trials?
- Several times Mariam passes herself off as Laila's mother. In what way is their relationship like mother-daughter? How did their own relationships with their mothers shape how they treated each other and their family?
- What is the significance of Laila's childhood trip to see the giant stone Buddhas above the Bamiyan Valley? Why did her father take her on this trip? How did his influence shape the way Laila would cope with her future?
- Afghanistan changes rulers several times in the story. During the Soviet occupation, the people felt life would be better once the foreigners were defeated. Why do you think the quality of life deteriorated after the occupation rather than returning to the way it was in the pre-communist era?
- When the Taliban first enter the city, Laila does not believe women will tolerate being forced out of jobs and treated with such indignity. Why do the educated women of Kabul endure such treatment? Why are the Taliban accepted?
- The Taliban forbid "writing books, watching films, and painting pictures;" yet the filmTitanic becomes a sensation on the black market. Why would people risk the Taliban’s violence to watch the film? Why do you think this particular film became so popular? How does Hosseini use films throughout the novel to symbolize relationships between people and the state of the country (i.e. Jalil's theater, Tariq & Laila's outings to the movies)?
- Were you surprised when Tariq returned? Had you suspected the depth of Rasheed's deceit?
- Why does Mariam refuse to call witnesses at her trial? Why didn't she try to escape with Laila and Tariq? Do you think Mariam made the right decision? Even though her life was hard, Mariam wishes for more of it in the end. Why do you think that is?
- Do you think Laila and Tariq can be happy?
- Afghanistan is still in the news a lot. Do you think the situation will truly improve there?
- Rate A Thousand Splendid Suns on a scale of 1 to 5.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
time for discussion - 1000 Splendid Suns
I know you guys are up to your ears in stuff going how between Mom, Dad, moving, kids etc. So I don't know if you've finished the book or not. I just did. I'm going to post questions tonight. Later this week, I'll do my "review". But a hint: I liked the book and am still thinking about it.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Next Pick?
How about A Thousand Splendid Suns by Klaled Houseini? Unless you've read it already, in which case I would pick Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri.
Let me know.
Thanks
Annette
Let me know.
Thanks
Annette
Annette's Turn (FINALLY)
Here I am , better late than never. Loved the book. really loved it. Like both of you I liked the format of the book by "person" or "topic" rather than straight chronology. I think it worked well. She used it to peel away the layers of her experience of France. So we gradually came to know her neighbors and the nature of the French and living in France.
There are aspects of her experience that I envy: the pace of life, the food, the old houses and old roses, learning a new language. And other aspects that make me realize I might like to stay only for a summer: the formality of relations (never saying someones first name), the insistness on "correctness" even when things are ridiculous.
Random thoughts and notes:
You know how much I love birds. I was horrified when she talked about batting the talented black bird with the broom (and having him disappear). I would have been inviting the bird for breakfast. But I enjoyed her gradual realization of the beauty of birds and why the French obsess so much about them. It was an interesting transition on her part.
I was AMAZED that they took the piano with them to France instead of storing it or lending it to someone while they are gone. It is incredibly hard on a piano (I know having carted mine around to Seattle and now Pennsylvania). I'm glad she loves it so much, but really I hope they don't move it again.
I of course loved Madame Mallet for all the reasons you both described. I thought many of the interactions were endearing. The funniest for me was when she suspected that maybe Rebecca was having an affair and but said she thought not "because it lasts only 35 minutes". Such a proper woman in other respects!
I was really touched by their visit to the cemetary at Normandy and the fact that they play Taps over the PA system and everyone stops to listen. All these years later, a good thing.
An example of the French "rigidness in doing things "right". When the woman at the fish pond wouldn't cut off the heads after cleaning it becasue "It would not be correct". Apparently the axiom "the customer is always right would seldom apply in France". And of course the customers isn't always right, I have to like the French for not being willing to put up with BS behavior (although in this case I couldn't figure what wasn't "right" about cutting off the fish heads)
I also liked Madame Fauriaux especially when she handled the "hoodlum" by pretending to take their pictures in front of the graffiti they wrote. It was so clever and simple. An "elegant" solution.
I was also interested in her observations on the Virgin Mary and Joan of Arc. Although I've been a lapsed CAtholic since High School, I suspect having been raised CAtholic (and having Joan of ARc as my Confirmation Saint) gives me a greater senstivity and appreciation for the image and draw of both the Virgin Mary and Joan of Arc. I enjoyed seeing them through her eyes and experience.
All in all, a really good read. Makes me want to start look for house rentals in the south of France! We can dream!
There are aspects of her experience that I envy: the pace of life, the food, the old houses and old roses, learning a new language. And other aspects that make me realize I might like to stay only for a summer: the formality of relations (never saying someones first name), the insistness on "correctness" even when things are ridiculous.
Random thoughts and notes:
You know how much I love birds. I was horrified when she talked about batting the talented black bird with the broom (and having him disappear). I would have been inviting the bird for breakfast. But I enjoyed her gradual realization of the beauty of birds and why the French obsess so much about them. It was an interesting transition on her part.
I was AMAZED that they took the piano with them to France instead of storing it or lending it to someone while they are gone. It is incredibly hard on a piano (I know having carted mine around to Seattle and now Pennsylvania). I'm glad she loves it so much, but really I hope they don't move it again.
I of course loved Madame Mallet for all the reasons you both described. I thought many of the interactions were endearing. The funniest for me was when she suspected that maybe Rebecca was having an affair and but said she thought not "because it lasts only 35 minutes". Such a proper woman in other respects!
I was really touched by their visit to the cemetary at Normandy and the fact that they play Taps over the PA system and everyone stops to listen. All these years later, a good thing.
An example of the French "rigidness in doing things "right". When the woman at the fish pond wouldn't cut off the heads after cleaning it becasue "It would not be correct". Apparently the axiom "the customer is always right would seldom apply in France". And of course the customers isn't always right, I have to like the French for not being willing to put up with BS behavior (although in this case I couldn't figure what wasn't "right" about cutting off the fish heads)
I also liked Madame Fauriaux especially when she handled the "hoodlum" by pretending to take their pictures in front of the graffiti they wrote. It was so clever and simple. An "elegant" solution.
I was also interested in her observations on the Virgin Mary and Joan of Arc. Although I've been a lapsed CAtholic since High School, I suspect having been raised CAtholic (and having Joan of ARc as my Confirmation Saint) gives me a greater senstivity and appreciation for the image and draw of both the Virgin Mary and Joan of Arc. I enjoyed seeing them through her eyes and experience.
All in all, a really good read. Makes me want to start look for house rentals in the south of France! We can dream!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Kelly's Turn
I really enjoyed this book. It inspired a case of CPD syndrome and I flew through it. I liked that the flow of the book didn’t depend on the timeline. I also agree with Keri that I wish there had been pictures to accompany the stories – C’est la vie!
My favorite character in the book was definitely Madame Mallet. I think if I’d been in the Ramsey’s situation I would have had more patience with her from the start. I’m not as bothered by her behavior as they seemed to be. Not sure if you noticed, Keri, but Rebecca dedicated her book to Madame Mallet!
In the chapter “Monsieur Rouge, the Piano Man” I loved that the Ramsey’s decided to keep their piano as it was, even with it’s flaws. The descriptions of the piano were fabulous: “New freshly tuned pianos sounded too soft – too shy, too wishy-washy. I loved the way my piano echoed in my ears without even pressing the pedals, like a saloon piano from an old Western.” “I need a piano that’s at home in my house, wherever we live. And if it has great legs, curvy shoulders, and a voice that means business, what more could we want?” While these thoughts are wonderful in concept, as a musician, I’d hate to have a piano that couldn’t be tuned!
In the chapter “Blessed Mary” I enjoyed the description of Rebecca’s infatuation with Mary. But my favorite part was: “The Lord’s Prayer wasn’t part of every service back home at First Baptist, but now in our Episcopal service we said it every week, first in English and then in French. The French version was glued in the front of the prayer books, and I had it almost memorized. Huddling in our little stone chapel with all the other Americans and Brits and South Africans and saying the prayer together as best we could was one of my favorite parts of our service. Even with my bad accent it sounded beautiful. Saying it in French forced me to think about each word and reminded me that God was not American.”
In the chapter “Grandmere Bonnabry” I loved the bed and breakfast the Ramsey’s visited. While I’m not much of a B&B person myself, Madame Bonnabry seemed charming. I, again, had a hard time sympathizing with Rebecca when she got irritated with her hostess. The comments that were critical about the children weren’t incorrect or overly harsh. They did need some more discipline! It’s a pet peeve of mine when people say you just have to expect kids to behave badly when they’re young – kids live up to whatever expectation of them you have. If you expect them to behave, they will. Our generation has just become really lax with discipline. *climbing off the soap box*
I’d love to stay somewhere out of the USA for an extended period of time and see how I adapted and learned to fit in. Not necessarily France, but somewhere. This book made the idea attractive and was entertaining to boot.
My favorite character in the book was definitely Madame Mallet. I think if I’d been in the Ramsey’s situation I would have had more patience with her from the start. I’m not as bothered by her behavior as they seemed to be. Not sure if you noticed, Keri, but Rebecca dedicated her book to Madame Mallet!
In the chapter “Monsieur Rouge, the Piano Man” I loved that the Ramsey’s decided to keep their piano as it was, even with it’s flaws. The descriptions of the piano were fabulous: “New freshly tuned pianos sounded too soft – too shy, too wishy-washy. I loved the way my piano echoed in my ears without even pressing the pedals, like a saloon piano from an old Western.” “I need a piano that’s at home in my house, wherever we live. And if it has great legs, curvy shoulders, and a voice that means business, what more could we want?” While these thoughts are wonderful in concept, as a musician, I’d hate to have a piano that couldn’t be tuned!
In the chapter “Blessed Mary” I enjoyed the description of Rebecca’s infatuation with Mary. But my favorite part was: “The Lord’s Prayer wasn’t part of every service back home at First Baptist, but now in our Episcopal service we said it every week, first in English and then in French. The French version was glued in the front of the prayer books, and I had it almost memorized. Huddling in our little stone chapel with all the other Americans and Brits and South Africans and saying the prayer together as best we could was one of my favorite parts of our service. Even with my bad accent it sounded beautiful. Saying it in French forced me to think about each word and reminded me that God was not American.”
In the chapter “Grandmere Bonnabry” I loved the bed and breakfast the Ramsey’s visited. While I’m not much of a B&B person myself, Madame Bonnabry seemed charming. I, again, had a hard time sympathizing with Rebecca when she got irritated with her hostess. The comments that were critical about the children weren’t incorrect or overly harsh. They did need some more discipline! It’s a pet peeve of mine when people say you just have to expect kids to behave badly when they’re young – kids live up to whatever expectation of them you have. If you expect them to behave, they will. Our generation has just become really lax with discipline. *climbing off the soap box*
I’d love to stay somewhere out of the USA for an extended period of time and see how I adapted and learned to fit in. Not necessarily France, but somewhere. This book made the idea attractive and was entertaining to boot.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Keri's thoughts
I didn't really like the questions in the back of the book, so I thought we can just talk about what we liked, didn't like, etc. this time. But if anyone wants to bring up some specific questions, we can do that too.
I really enjoyed the book. I wish there had been pictures of their homes, or scenic places mentioned or of their family. I didn't mind that the book didn't really keep a specific timeline and just meandered through their time in France from chapter to chapter.
In the chapter "French Skin" I was particularly fascinated by her observation about how French women are "more comfortable in their skin." In some ways I can see that the ease at which nudity was portrayed in every aspect of their lives might be annoying, frustrating, or bothersome it also became a way for them to see the acceptance was for every body type and not just the perfect ideals of America. "There was a statue in a rose garden downtown that became one of our favorites. It was a woman - a real woman - with thick thighs and round breasts. She stood facing a fountain, as if under the shower, holding back her long hair to let the water rinse through it. 'I like that girl', Sarah told me on a walk. It made me happy. I was sure that when we moved back home she might lose her fantastic accent, and she'd probably forget a lot of the words that once flowed so easily, but I hoped she'd always stand tall like that stone woman in the park, at peace with the skin God gave her."
In the chapter "Blessed Mary" I enjoyed how Rebecca became entranced by Mary. I would imagine that being in Europe and surrounded by so much religious iconography one would become intrigued by it. I can understand her wariness of having a Mary statue on display in her home, but felt that she handled it in a way I could agree with. She wasn't worshipping her Mary statue, but appreciating it's presence in her home and the peace that she could get from observing it. "I loved looking at my Mary, though I still gave all my prayers to the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. She stood there beside the pink delphiniums, a beautiful symbol of that it meant to be a servant, reminding me of our universal need to connect with what is holy, and bringing forth a prayer to my mind... (Lord's prayer in French)."
The chapter "11 Septembre" was also very meaningful. Beginning the book I didn't realize that they had been living in France in 2001, but it was interesting to read about how they found out, how their French friends and acquaintances reacted, and especially how their children handled it - Benjamin in particular. His very realistic and frightening dreams must have been so terrible to handle night after night, especially knowing there was nothing that they could do to help him. "Dreams...They tell the truth. His world is broken and it will never be the same. No one can fix it - that is the saddest part. Perhaps we don't properly appreciate how deeply children take in their environment, and how sensitive they are to the pain in the world...Perhaps I might need to reevaluate my theory - it appears that children are deep thinkers only some of the time. But I'm glad to do what I can. The pain of a finger I can handle - the pain of the world is another story."
One of my favorite characters in the book was Madame Mallet. I loved how attached she became to the the comings and goings and everything in between of the Ramsey's life in France. Though I am certain that had I myself had to deal with her I would not have handled it well...she made for a very interesting reading and I always looked forward to stories about her and what she had to say. I think she was a lonely woman who wanted or perhaps needed something to occupy her life...and the Ramsey's became her focus. She mothered them, disagreed with them, angered them, flattered them, and most of all loved them. "Don't you see? Henry said. You are such a close friend to her that she can be rude to you. You've made it. French people are only rude like that to their closest and dearest friends."
"Monsieur Mallet and I are holding on to life like crumbling fortresses. But we look forward to the day when you drive down our street for a visit and park in front of our gate, like you used to do before I instructed you to do it the proper way. You're so dear to us and we'll always love you, no matter what the crazy Roches say...We miss all of you, Affectionately, Astrid."
In the chapter "A Home for the Greatest Show on Earth" I loved the description of Rebecca's friend Madame de Thiolas' home - full of things which did not match yet went together anyways. This is what I aim for my own home to be like, though I probably tend more on the side of crazy, cozy clutter rather than Parisian elegance. :) But, I wholeheartedly agree with Madame de Thiolas when she says: "I suppose it is the French way to surround oneself with the things one loves...(then describing a visit to a home in Connecticut)...it was too perfect for my taste - too stiff, too sterile. Everything matched...That would stifle me - to lock myself into such a formula. I didn't understand it. What if you found something you loved but it didn't fit? What are you supposed to do - abandon it? No, I couldn't live like that." Even though it would never be my taste to decorate with a giant circus poster like Rebecca fell in love with...I love the idea of embracing what you love and surrounding yourself with objects, art, books, etc that make you happy...even if they don't match. What they have in common is that you love them.
All in all I truly enjoyed this book and hope that I someday have the opportunity to visit France for myself and experience the beauty, the history, the elegance, especially the food...and even the bird poo!
I really enjoyed the book. I wish there had been pictures of their homes, or scenic places mentioned or of their family. I didn't mind that the book didn't really keep a specific timeline and just meandered through their time in France from chapter to chapter.
In the chapter "French Skin" I was particularly fascinated by her observation about how French women are "more comfortable in their skin." In some ways I can see that the ease at which nudity was portrayed in every aspect of their lives might be annoying, frustrating, or bothersome it also became a way for them to see the acceptance was for every body type and not just the perfect ideals of America. "There was a statue in a rose garden downtown that became one of our favorites. It was a woman - a real woman - with thick thighs and round breasts. She stood facing a fountain, as if under the shower, holding back her long hair to let the water rinse through it. 'I like that girl', Sarah told me on a walk. It made me happy. I was sure that when we moved back home she might lose her fantastic accent, and she'd probably forget a lot of the words that once flowed so easily, but I hoped she'd always stand tall like that stone woman in the park, at peace with the skin God gave her."
In the chapter "Blessed Mary" I enjoyed how Rebecca became entranced by Mary. I would imagine that being in Europe and surrounded by so much religious iconography one would become intrigued by it. I can understand her wariness of having a Mary statue on display in her home, but felt that she handled it in a way I could agree with. She wasn't worshipping her Mary statue, but appreciating it's presence in her home and the peace that she could get from observing it. "I loved looking at my Mary, though I still gave all my prayers to the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. She stood there beside the pink delphiniums, a beautiful symbol of that it meant to be a servant, reminding me of our universal need to connect with what is holy, and bringing forth a prayer to my mind... (Lord's prayer in French)."
The chapter "11 Septembre" was also very meaningful. Beginning the book I didn't realize that they had been living in France in 2001, but it was interesting to read about how they found out, how their French friends and acquaintances reacted, and especially how their children handled it - Benjamin in particular. His very realistic and frightening dreams must have been so terrible to handle night after night, especially knowing there was nothing that they could do to help him. "Dreams...They tell the truth. His world is broken and it will never be the same. No one can fix it - that is the saddest part. Perhaps we don't properly appreciate how deeply children take in their environment, and how sensitive they are to the pain in the world...Perhaps I might need to reevaluate my theory - it appears that children are deep thinkers only some of the time. But I'm glad to do what I can. The pain of a finger I can handle - the pain of the world is another story."
One of my favorite characters in the book was Madame Mallet. I loved how attached she became to the the comings and goings and everything in between of the Ramsey's life in France. Though I am certain that had I myself had to deal with her I would not have handled it well...she made for a very interesting reading and I always looked forward to stories about her and what she had to say. I think she was a lonely woman who wanted or perhaps needed something to occupy her life...and the Ramsey's became her focus. She mothered them, disagreed with them, angered them, flattered them, and most of all loved them. "Don't you see? Henry said. You are such a close friend to her that she can be rude to you. You've made it. French people are only rude like that to their closest and dearest friends."
"Monsieur Mallet and I are holding on to life like crumbling fortresses. But we look forward to the day when you drive down our street for a visit and park in front of our gate, like you used to do before I instructed you to do it the proper way. You're so dear to us and we'll always love you, no matter what the crazy Roches say...We miss all of you, Affectionately, Astrid."
In the chapter "A Home for the Greatest Show on Earth" I loved the description of Rebecca's friend Madame de Thiolas' home - full of things which did not match yet went together anyways. This is what I aim for my own home to be like, though I probably tend more on the side of crazy, cozy clutter rather than Parisian elegance. :) But, I wholeheartedly agree with Madame de Thiolas when she says: "I suppose it is the French way to surround oneself with the things one loves...(then describing a visit to a home in Connecticut)...it was too perfect for my taste - too stiff, too sterile. Everything matched...That would stifle me - to lock myself into such a formula. I didn't understand it. What if you found something you loved but it didn't fit? What are you supposed to do - abandon it? No, I couldn't live like that." Even though it would never be my taste to decorate with a giant circus poster like Rebecca fell in love with...I love the idea of embracing what you love and surrounding yourself with objects, art, books, etc that make you happy...even if they don't match. What they have in common is that you love them.
All in all I truly enjoyed this book and hope that I someday have the opportunity to visit France for myself and experience the beauty, the history, the elegance, especially the food...and even the bird poo!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The next book is....
French by Heart: an American family's adventures in La Belle France by Rebecca S. Ramsey.
"Can a family of five from deep in the heart of Dixie find happiness smack-dab in the middle of France? A charming tale with world-class characters, French by Heart reads like letters from your funniest friend. More than just a slice of life in France, it's a heartwarming account of a family coming of age and learning what 'home sweet home' really means."
Hopefully this sounds as interesting to you two as it does to me. :) Kelly - I've submitted an ILL request for a copy for you. I figure we can plan to discuss it sometime next month? There are discussion questions in back of my copy which I will post later.
"Can a family of five from deep in the heart of Dixie find happiness smack-dab in the middle of France? A charming tale with world-class characters, French by Heart reads like letters from your funniest friend. More than just a slice of life in France, it's a heartwarming account of a family coming of age and learning what 'home sweet home' really means."
Hopefully this sounds as interesting to you two as it does to me. :) Kelly - I've submitted an ILL request for a copy for you. I figure we can plan to discuss it sometime next month? There are discussion questions in back of my copy which I will post later.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Kelly's Turn
I know I finished this book before everyone else, but I've been slow to put things together. Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I liked all the different people's stories put together and I have to admit I never even thought about if it would work this way in real life. I'm an easy one with the willing suspension of disbelief! I'm glad I didn't buy the book, though, as it's not something I would read over and over again. But there were a lot of great descriptions and great thoughts scattered throughout the book! (I skipped a few of the questions - you guys covered them well already!)
1) When Claire first walks into Lillian’s, she reflects: “When was the last time she had been someplace where nobody knew who she was?” Is the anonymity of the kitchen a lure for Lillian’s students?
I remember how I was when I first went into a chat room online. They were still a fairly new thing, and it was wonderful for me. I didn't have any stereotypes - everyone could be a friend - and no one judged me either! I can see that being in a cooking class like this could be very freeing for a mom in Claire's situation. Love these quotes from Claire's story:
“The strangeness of it caught her. It was hard to remember the last time she had gone anywhere without her children or her husband. … How strange, she thought. These people here, they looked at her and thought she was alone, she whose children were with her even in her dreams.”
“After the children were born, it was as if no one could see further than the soft hair, the round cheeks of the babies she carried. She became the frame for the picture that was her son and daughter.”
2) How did you respond to the story of Lillian’s upbringing? Would Lillian have been better off with a more traditional home life, like those of her school friends? Do you agree with Abuelita’s statement that “sometimes our greatest gifts grow from what we’re not given”?
She didn't have it as bad as many children have it, though that doesn't make her situation "easy", by any means. I think we all have to do the best with what we're given, and I think Lillian did! I completely agree with Abuelita's statement!
3) Besides scenes from her childhood, the author discloses very little about Lillian. Why do you think she did this? How would the book be different if we knew more about Lillian’s day-to-day life?
I think the author was more interested in making sure all the "ingredients"/people of her book had time to shine, rather than focusing on the chef preparing the meal. Hope that's not too philosophical an answer! :o)
4) As a general rule, Lillian doesn’t give her students recipes. Why do you think she does this? What are the pros and cons of this approach to cooking?
I don't know why and it would drive me NUTS to cook this way!! I have to admit I don't see any pros!
5) Did Helen do the right thing by telling Carl about her affair? How would their marriage — and Helen and Carl themselves — have evolved had he never learned the truth?
I think honesty is always in order, so yes. If she hadn't shared with him, she might not have left the other guy, and she might have continued to grow more distant from Carl, learned to think less of him for not noticing what was going on. Here's my favorite quotes from their story:
“He sank into the warmth of his child’s fragile body against his shoulder, watched in awe that a baby, still essentially asleep, could keep a death grip on the blanket that meant the world was safe and loving, marveling at the thought that it was he and Helen who gave the feeling to the blanket, and the blanket to the child.”
“Statistics predicted a far greater chance of divorce than automobile accident, death by violence, or the all-too-graphic possibility of “dismemberment” – which was perhaps why insurance companies didn’t sell policies for marital stability.”
“Carl’s older sister didn’t understand (why he stayed with his wife after she had been unfaithful). … ‘How long can you live like this?’ she asked him. ‘We made a promise, a long time ago.’ … ‘She broke the promise, Carl.’ But her tone was gentle. ‘We are keeping as much of it as we can.’ … ‘Marriage is a leap of faith. You are each other’s safety net.’ ‘People change.’ Carl stopped, and let his fingers rest on the counter in front of him. ‘I think that’s what we’re both counting on.’”
7) Although we only see Charlie, Tom’s wife, in flashback, she seems to share Lillian’s love of essential ingredients. What do you make of Charlie’s statement that “We are all just ingredients. What matters is the grace with which you cook the meal”?
Back to the "we make the best we can with what we've got" thought.
“Look at what you did,’ Lillian remarked quietly, standing next to Tom at the counter. ‘They’ll eat it,’ he said, ‘and then it’ll be gone.’ ‘That’s what makes it a gift,’ Lillian replied.”
11) At the end of the novel, Lillian reflects that: “She saw how connected [the students’] lives had become and would remain. Where did a teacher fit in the picture, she wondered, when there was no longer a class?” What do you think happens to Lillian once her class is disbanded? What do you imagine happens in to the other characters’ lives after the book ends?
I like to think that Tom and Lillian get married someday when he's done grieving. I'm a romantic like that!
Last quotes:
“Isabelle had always thought of her mind as a garden, a magical place to play as a child, when the grown-ups were having conversations and she was expected to listen politely – and even, although she hated to admit this, later with Edward, her husband, when listening to the particularities of his carpet salesmanship wore her thin. Every year the garden grew larger, the paths longer and more complicated. Meadows of memories. Of course, her mental garden hadn’t always been well tended. There were the years when the children were young, fast-moving periods when life flew by without time for the roots of deep reflection, and yet she knew memories were created whether one pondered them or not. She had always considered that one of the luxuries of growing older would be the chance to wander through the garden that had grown while she wasn’t looking. She would sit on a bench and let her mind take every path, tend every moment she hadn’t paid attention to, appreciate the juxtaposition of one memory against another. But now that she was older and had time, she found more often than not that she was lost – words, names, her children’s phone numbers arriving and departing from her mind like trains without schedules.”
“I’ve been wondering,’ Isabelle commented reflectively over dessert, ‘if it is foolish to make new memories when you know you are going to lose them.’ … After a while, she spoke again, ‘You know, I am starting to think that maybe memories are like this dessert. I eat it, and it becomes a part of me, whether I remember it later or not.”
“I knew a sculptor,’ Isabelle said, nodding. ‘He always said that if you looked hard enough, you could see where each person carried his soul in his body. It sounds crazy, but when you saw his sculptures, it made sense. I think the same is true with those we love. Our bodies carry the memories of them, in our muscles, in our skin, in our bones. My children are right here.’ She pointed to the inside curve of her elbow. ‘Where I held them when they were babies. Even if there comes a time when I don’t know who they are anymore, I believe I will feel them here.”
1) When Claire first walks into Lillian’s, she reflects: “When was the last time she had been someplace where nobody knew who she was?” Is the anonymity of the kitchen a lure for Lillian’s students?
I remember how I was when I first went into a chat room online. They were still a fairly new thing, and it was wonderful for me. I didn't have any stereotypes - everyone could be a friend - and no one judged me either! I can see that being in a cooking class like this could be very freeing for a mom in Claire's situation. Love these quotes from Claire's story:
“The strangeness of it caught her. It was hard to remember the last time she had gone anywhere without her children or her husband. … How strange, she thought. These people here, they looked at her and thought she was alone, she whose children were with her even in her dreams.”
“After the children were born, it was as if no one could see further than the soft hair, the round cheeks of the babies she carried. She became the frame for the picture that was her son and daughter.”
2) How did you respond to the story of Lillian’s upbringing? Would Lillian have been better off with a more traditional home life, like those of her school friends? Do you agree with Abuelita’s statement that “sometimes our greatest gifts grow from what we’re not given”?
She didn't have it as bad as many children have it, though that doesn't make her situation "easy", by any means. I think we all have to do the best with what we're given, and I think Lillian did! I completely agree with Abuelita's statement!
3) Besides scenes from her childhood, the author discloses very little about Lillian. Why do you think she did this? How would the book be different if we knew more about Lillian’s day-to-day life?
I think the author was more interested in making sure all the "ingredients"/people of her book had time to shine, rather than focusing on the chef preparing the meal. Hope that's not too philosophical an answer! :o)
4) As a general rule, Lillian doesn’t give her students recipes. Why do you think she does this? What are the pros and cons of this approach to cooking?
I don't know why and it would drive me NUTS to cook this way!! I have to admit I don't see any pros!
5) Did Helen do the right thing by telling Carl about her affair? How would their marriage — and Helen and Carl themselves — have evolved had he never learned the truth?
I think honesty is always in order, so yes. If she hadn't shared with him, she might not have left the other guy, and she might have continued to grow more distant from Carl, learned to think less of him for not noticing what was going on. Here's my favorite quotes from their story:
“He sank into the warmth of his child’s fragile body against his shoulder, watched in awe that a baby, still essentially asleep, could keep a death grip on the blanket that meant the world was safe and loving, marveling at the thought that it was he and Helen who gave the feeling to the blanket, and the blanket to the child.”
“Statistics predicted a far greater chance of divorce than automobile accident, death by violence, or the all-too-graphic possibility of “dismemberment” – which was perhaps why insurance companies didn’t sell policies for marital stability.”
“Carl’s older sister didn’t understand (why he stayed with his wife after she had been unfaithful). … ‘How long can you live like this?’ she asked him. ‘We made a promise, a long time ago.’ … ‘She broke the promise, Carl.’ But her tone was gentle. ‘We are keeping as much of it as we can.’ … ‘Marriage is a leap of faith. You are each other’s safety net.’ ‘People change.’ Carl stopped, and let his fingers rest on the counter in front of him. ‘I think that’s what we’re both counting on.’”
7) Although we only see Charlie, Tom’s wife, in flashback, she seems to share Lillian’s love of essential ingredients. What do you make of Charlie’s statement that “We are all just ingredients. What matters is the grace with which you cook the meal”?
Back to the "we make the best we can with what we've got" thought.
“Look at what you did,’ Lillian remarked quietly, standing next to Tom at the counter. ‘They’ll eat it,’ he said, ‘and then it’ll be gone.’ ‘That’s what makes it a gift,’ Lillian replied.”
11) At the end of the novel, Lillian reflects that: “She saw how connected [the students’] lives had become and would remain. Where did a teacher fit in the picture, she wondered, when there was no longer a class?” What do you think happens to Lillian once her class is disbanded? What do you imagine happens in to the other characters’ lives after the book ends?
I like to think that Tom and Lillian get married someday when he's done grieving. I'm a romantic like that!
Last quotes:
“Isabelle had always thought of her mind as a garden, a magical place to play as a child, when the grown-ups were having conversations and she was expected to listen politely – and even, although she hated to admit this, later with Edward, her husband, when listening to the particularities of his carpet salesmanship wore her thin. Every year the garden grew larger, the paths longer and more complicated. Meadows of memories. Of course, her mental garden hadn’t always been well tended. There were the years when the children were young, fast-moving periods when life flew by without time for the roots of deep reflection, and yet she knew memories were created whether one pondered them or not. She had always considered that one of the luxuries of growing older would be the chance to wander through the garden that had grown while she wasn’t looking. She would sit on a bench and let her mind take every path, tend every moment she hadn’t paid attention to, appreciate the juxtaposition of one memory against another. But now that she was older and had time, she found more often than not that she was lost – words, names, her children’s phone numbers arriving and departing from her mind like trains without schedules.”
“I’ve been wondering,’ Isabelle commented reflectively over dessert, ‘if it is foolish to make new memories when you know you are going to lose them.’ … After a while, she spoke again, ‘You know, I am starting to think that maybe memories are like this dessert. I eat it, and it becomes a part of me, whether I remember it later or not.”
“I knew a sculptor,’ Isabelle said, nodding. ‘He always said that if you looked hard enough, you could see where each person carried his soul in his body. It sounds crazy, but when you saw his sculptures, it made sense. I think the same is true with those we love. Our bodies carry the memories of them, in our muscles, in our skin, in our bones. My children are right here.’ She pointed to the inside curve of her elbow. ‘Where I held them when they were babies. Even if there comes a time when I don’t know who they are anymore, I believe I will feel them here.”
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